Children need to receive compliments that bring forth the development of a strong sense of self-esteem. The most motivating compliments for children are those that praise hard work, the achievement of goals, perseverance and dedication.
8 aspects to consider when complimenting your little ones
1) Compliments for praiseworthy behavior
When children show honesty, kindness, trustworthiness, sincerity, obedience and respect, it’s the best opportunity for you to put them aside and give them a genuine compliment. Try to say phrases like “I appreciate the way you behaved at your grandparents’ lunch”, or “You were really kind to your friend, offering him your chocolate” and so on. “Apprezzo il modo in cui ti sei comportato a pranzo dai nonni”, oppure “Sei stato davvero gentile con il tuo amico, offrendogli il tuo cioccolatino” e così via.
2) Compliments for simply being part of the family
“Every time I see you, I’m grateful for being your mother”. Children need to know that they are valued and appreciated for who they truly are.
3) Compliments on the little contributions they make to the family
È importante insegnare sin da piccoli a contribuire nella cura della casa e della famiglia: sistemare i giochi in cameretta, apparecchiare la tavola sono solo degli esempi. Frasi come “Apprezzo il tuo contributo” permettono al bambino di capire che le sue azioni fanno la differenza, gli adulti le notano e sono fondamentali per il benessere familiare.
4) Compliments on the quality of their work
“Your bedroom is clean, you’re so good! Well done! I’m so happy that you are taking this job seriously”. Executing a job well is always noteworthy, don’t forget to acknowledge it.
5) Compliments on the effort, even if the results aren’t the best
Gli sforzi, a prescindere dal risultato finale, devono essere riconosciuti. Il bambino percepirà che l’impegno è fondamentale per svolgere il lavoro nel migliore dei modi, anche se a volte il risultato finale può deludere le aspettative.
6) Compliments on when they achieve something new
For example, regarding their first achievements at school: “Wow! This is a huge step for you in math! Incredible! I’m not surprised at all since you worked so hard”. A well-placed compliment can trigger positive behaviors in a rotating manner.
7) Compliments on their style, even though we don’t share the same taste
We don’t have to oblige children to become our clones. When it comes to choosing clothes to wear, for example, let the child express himself freely and let him choose the colors he likes, even if the color coordination isn’t perfect. Compliment them and show that you agree with their choice. Their self-confidence will benefit.
8) Compliments on their friends
“Your friends are really nice, Mari is such a good girl. You know, I trust her”, the child will understand that he has good sense when it comes to choosing his friends.
There are phrases that we shouldn’t take for granted, even though they can seem like obvious concepts that don’t need to be expressed out loud, because children expect to hear certain words, they need it. Therefore try to always tell your children what you feel for them, complimenting them and most of all, be honest while doing so.
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